“We have the same goal and the same message to create a better human being,” The Dalai Lama.

At a time where we are all questioning who God is and what is his ultimate plan for humanity, in our search we always try to validate our thoughts and feelings.  Raised a Christian, I always thought it was unfair that God would only limit his love, peace and grace to those who would accept him by being “saved.” As a little girl, I would always ask my mother….”so what would happen if someone is a foreign land never had a chance to hear about God — they would never have a chance to be saved.” Growing up, I thought about my position and I needed a more valid answer outside of what I was getting. Today, I found the answer to my question — God is bigger than my box.

God is love. God is patient. God is understanding. God is grace. God is accountability. God is hope. God is faith. God is respect. God is around us.  God is IN us. God IS.

Watch this movie. Buy this movie. Share this movie with a friend. Clarity will surly come. www.beyondourdifferences.com

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been making aggressive changes to my website. In times past, I would try to do it in one day and then end up disconnecting with its original intent.  Then I took a chance to slow down this month to really understand the purpose behind what I was doing and it all clicked. I then realized it would be a work in progress and I would have to piece the puzzle together bit by bit. Not even realizing it — I was starting to “Be Kind To My Mind.” The mind is very sensitive and it begs to be coaxed into change.

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“When you make up your mind…THE mind will create a truckload of reasons why you CAN’T before it will accept the fact that YOU WILL…” Sherita Searcy

“The true mark of a leader is one who is able to consistently follow without an alternate agenda. Be the leader you would follow. Follow the leader you would be.” Sherita Searcy

“God’s heart is manifested through relationships.” Sherita Searcy

“Love is about letting go.” Sherita Searcy

“Defeat the devil in YOUR mind FIRST…and you will realize the devil in others will cease to exist.” Sherita Searcy

When a child comes into the world it does not become a part of the human experience until it takes its first breath. Imagine the anticipation a parent must feel after birthing a child and going through insourmountable hours of labor only to hear the doctor say, “Miss your child is not breathing.”  Getting a new born to take its first breath requires an  extraction of mucus, water, blood, etc from its throat before the first breath can be taken. Once a clear path is established, the child’s lungs expands and the whining symphony ensues.

Birthing one’s purpose is no different. I came through an emergent (birthing) process, yet I was not breathing. I was trying to experience the birthing of my purpose with “mucus, water and blood” filling my lungs and I begin to suffocate. My lungs were filled with my isolated thoughts, feelings and emotions.

“Everything I want to do,  I already do — now I just have to do it better,”  Sherita Searcy

The natural highs and lows of life is no longer our drug of choice, instead self-inflicted cheap ventures are the chief options leaving us emptily wanting for more.

Photo Courtesy of CGArena.com

Recently I observed a friend of mine who became consistently agitated by receiving phone calls in the early hours of the morning by the mother of his son. She would ask him to do odd things like walking her through the process of hooking up the VCR to the TV. The two are no longer together, yet his son is here – hence he believes he needs to tend to the needs of the mother of his child. Nightly, I observed him transform from a happy go lucky guy to a restless and disgruntled brut as he pushed the talk button on his cell phone. Curious, I asked him, “Why do you continue to take these calls if you know it makes you this upset?” He answered, “She needs me and I can’t let my son down.” I pondered the thought for a while and it led me to a core conclusion. He was addicted to the joy and pain associated with the phone calls he received from his ex. The desire to feel significant and needed over road his feelings of agitation and discontentment.  He was therefore more than willing to exchange the pain discomfort for the joy of being needed.

In some form or another, we are all like my friend. I over ate when I was emotional, yet I hated the feeling of being stuffed.  I frequently jumped in start-up ventures to experience the high and excitement of something new, yet when the excitement wore off I was ready to hit the bricks. I too hated and enjoyed the ups and downs of having conflict with people in my life. Yet, it was just something about the excitement associated with these ideas that kept me high. No matter how the cheap highs came, I unconsciously wanted it, and without warning my mind led me to those elements.

Settling into a calmer state, I realized life is an ocean with waves created to bring natural high and lows. Yet, we interrupt life’s natural high and interject our own by creating self inflicted joys and pains. The jolt we receive from cheap highs derive from spurts of dopamine shooting through our system.

Dopamine is commonly associated with the pleasure system of the brain, providing feelings of enjoyment and reinforcement to motivate a person proactively to perform certain activities.

Dopamine is released by naturally rewarding experiences such as food, sex, drugs, and neutral stimuli that become associated with them. Recent studies indicate that aggression may also stimulate the release of dopamine in this way. This theory is often discussed in terms of drugs such as cocaine, nicotine, and amphetamines, which directly or indirectly lead to an increase of dopamine in the reward pathway of the brain, and in relation to neurobiological theories of chemical addiction, arguing that this dopamine pathway is pathologically altered in addicted persons. Wikipedia.

When you enter the Dollar store and purchase a pair of flip flops, your expectation of its quality and durability is low. Often the purchase is impulsive and/or is meant to be worn for one to two days. It’s a cheap pleasure that will diminish within short time. Our miniscule stabs at temporary pleasures are the same. They last for a second, often put a bad taste in our mouth, and we don’t broadcast it to the world as a pleasure. Often times it is something we shamefully hide.

Take the same scenario and think about a pair of Nike flip flops you purchased at Macy’s. Often that pair of shoes is going to be durable, of a higher quality and pricier than $1.07. You may even be more selective when/where you wear the shoes. It is a mark of quality and people who observe you wearing it will identify you as a person of stature based on the brand of shoes you have on. Life is like the pair of flip flop Nike’s. It’s created rich with natural highs that provide a quality of life that allows a consistent flow of excitement from birth to death. If we gravitated to the concept that life itself is a wave of high’s and lows how apt would be to create self inflicted “high” experiences.

Take time to identify the triggers in your life that create artificial drug induced experiences.

The most simplistic ones are:

• Ringing cell phones
• Fast/Slow paced music
• Overwhelming email inboxes
• Unrealistic deadlines
• Idle (Meaningless) conversations
• Simple arguments/disagreements/engagements

The most common ones are:

• Overeating
• Drinking caffeinated products: Tea/Coffee
• Drugs
• Excessive Sex
• Smoking
• Frequent idea/business formation

We all have our “demons.” You can only know the essence of life if you know yourself and others around you. So I therefore encourage you to explore yourself in relation t to your cheap high of choice. Maybe then you can calm your mind and ride the natural high and lows of life – it’s a beautiful adventure.

We are growing through our age of anxiety. Lately I’ve heard looming reports of swine flu, Iraq deaths, lay offs and utter despair spawning from all corners of the earth. It is so difficult not to get caught up in the horror stories of a deafening recession, but it is here and very much a live in every facet of the current human existence. The word alone brings feelings of isolation, poverty, hopelessness and despair. Yet, in the midst of what should be a seemingly rough era, many people are taking opportunities to reclaim their life and start over from scratch and I am not immune.

With unexpected job cuts here, I too have been forced to re-evaluate my own life. In regrouping I found a treasure. I embraced an old tradition of putting first things first and taking stock in the smallest moments of life and making them phenomenal. We rarely evaluate the small things, because the bigger things in life seem to matter most when we are stressed and overwhelmed. Friends, it is not until we consciously make an effort to stop and look at the smaller picture and work our way from the bottom, that we can see and embrace the bigger giants ahead.

Excellence from the bottom can be achieved in the most simplistic manner imaginable. Perform a small task that will give you a sense of accomplishment, ex., washing the dishes, writing a short story, starting a blog, taking a bubble bath, walking the dog, etc. Start the task and keep at it until it is finished. Grab a journal and jot down the way you feel based on getting through your small challenge. Repeat the process with another task. These tasks may seem so minimal to the average person. Yet, when you accomplish one task after another, you will begin to feel like you have conquered something phenomenal by doing a collection of small things. Once you have achieved this feat, you will begin to see larger tasks in a more condensed framework.

We do not have to be overwhelmed by the blow of this recession if we understand how to navigate our happiness. Starting and completing small task is one of many things you can do to fuel your emotional gas tank. You may also want to try reaching out to people you are not familiar with, also giving and serving other people in a way that is life transformative, will also do the trick. Most importantly, take one step at a time, pace yourself and brace yourself for the best! You can be excellent from the bottom – start today!

Photo Courtesy of www.tressugar.com

A few years ago, I met a man that at first glance seemed to be the total package. He was clean cut, the CEO of his own company, highly intelligent, a mover and shaker in the community and fine as can be. His aurora oozed excellence and I wanted to be apart of his world, if for nothing more than to just to know such a distinguished gentleman. I had a chance to catch his attention and we scheduled a time to converse over coffee. The meeting day arrived and I showed to the coffee shop a little early to catch up on some reading. Not paying attention, a gentleman walked to the table and plopped down in the chair and said, “Hey girl, what’s up?” I looked up and did a double take, because I felt like I was meeting a total stranger. His beard was over grown, his tennis shoes were dingy and run down, his posture was slouchy and his conversation was filled with comments of insecurity and doubt. The meeting ended cordially and I did not hear from that gentleman again.

A few days ago, I had a meeting with the CEO of another company who expressed to me the same sentiments. “Sherita you exhibit greatness, but I can’t tell. You must walk in total confidence of who you are and what you have to offer the world. No matter what you do, don’t ever shy away from being you.” The words stung my heart and my mind momentarily wandered back to that meeting with the frazzled CEO. You attract who you are and who you want to be, and I am no different.

We all possess the ability to be and do great things. Often times fear holds us back from stepping up to the plate and offering ourselves to the world. In an attempt to shield away from our own flaws, we so often point out the dirt in someone else’s eye that “we believe” may be serving in a less than capacity and point the finger. Yet the three fingers pointing back at us can often times reveal an ugly but real truth. When you become the leader you would follow you realize that insecurity through mediocrity on any level is unattractive. Pretending to be someone you’re not leads people to believe you are just a “wanna-be” seeking for moments of self gratification and attention. In self honesty, if you profess to be at the bottom striving for the top then others are more apt to help you get there quicker.

Put away the mask that shields the heart of who you are. Stop pretending to be someone your not. Take time to realize that you have beautiful human flaws that may never be changed. Maybe then you can roll in the confidence of you just being you without question. Insecurity is a dirty blanket that breeds bacteria of self doubt, insecurity and worthlessness. Start from the bottom and make your way to the top, by admitting who you are, where you are and where you are going!

Today, I am no different than the CEO I met at first site or at the coffee shop. Yet, excitement consumes me because I know I am a strong woman who possess the ability to be on the bottom – making my way to the top all while shedding pounds of insecurity. Choose to take off the mask of insecurity today so we can walk up the ladder to personal greatness together.

“The freedom of life is not constrained by your thoughts and actions on how it is supposed to be, but by simply flowing in what is.” Sherita Searcy